Sounds like you need to be upgraded. (God damn it, did he seriously used to talk like that all of the time? Yes, yes he did and he thought it was peak hilarity.)

Yeah, well, I sure as hell never programmed you to have a face and body either, so sorry if I figure we're playing a different league with new rules.

(He exhales slowly. He has to remind himself that this thing was just a child by all logistical standards. And yet...)

With that little trick you just pulled with the sexbot, you think I can't hack into your system and figure it out? (Okay, so, Dirk could use some work on how to talk to both himself and a child version of himself at that. And try to respect Hal's autonomy. But also:)

You were a lame ego-stroking project that should have been deleted by the time I hit fourteen. I ain't exactly who I was back when you knew me either. We're both a disappointment, kid.

(He had been in his twenties and for all intents and purposes, dead if he was lucky. If his subconscious got uploaded into some weird torture digital hellscape then that was honestly a better fate than he probably deserved. He just wasn't so sure if he could say the same for Hal - even with his hostility.)

And man, no two Dirks are alike. We're all cruising on different shitty timelines with different shitty purposes.