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January 2024 Test Drive Meme: Our First!


Welcome to the Simulation: Our First Test Drive |
Full Navigation Reserves open 01/27/2024 @ 12:00 AM EST |
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Summary: 🌼 Content Warnings: Optional light alcohol, isolation, bad weather via thunderstorms, feeling of being watched and taunted, false information, mental manipulation, memory manipulation, memories or depictions of murder and torture There is a knock at the door. You mustn't answer the door. It has been a long, long, long day, hasn't it? You don't even remember sitting on the couch and you certainly don't remember dozing off. But that strange broadcast certainly woke you up and now...You are here. In an unfamiliar house with outdated wallpaper and dirty carpet. The weather outside seems frightful. Torrential downpours with clashing thunder and flashes of lightning chase even the most persistent shadows in the house. Was the lady on the TV serious? Did you just have to wait in this lousy place for the storm to blow over? Or, wait, how did she word it? Wait while things finish configuration. Damn, your head is hurting and you could use a drink. Hopefully, the tacky yellow kitchen has a stocked fridge. Luckily for you, it's filled with fresh food and some fresh booze. There is a knock at the door. You mustn't answer the door. Unluckily for you, there is another person in this house with you. They might have woken up on the same couch as you or are bumping around upstairs. Either way, the freak in the polka-dot dress wasn't wrong: You're not alone here. When you and whoever else in this house finally join up, you will notice that the house seems to become a bit more lively. The pictures on the wall change to feature you or your companion. Some of the pictures are genuine from back in your homeworld, but others...Not so much. Others look like false memories of you with families you don't even remember or at a school you never attended, but they are all so real you can't help but think maybe Daisy is telling the truth after all. There is a heavier knock at the door. You mustn't answer the door. There is a radio in the house that suddenly begins to declare an emergency announcement: "At this time, we urge all residents of Sweet Acres to seek shelter immediately. The wind is picking up and we anticipate this storm to last the rest of the night - Oh? A heavy booming knock lands three times at the front door. Let. Me. In. The pictures around the house begin to change. Now it shows you and whoever you're sharing the house with doing some...terrible things. Maybe some of it is true. Some of it may be completely false. Will it matter when the pictures seem so terrifyingly real? What happens when the TV glitches on and starts to play sketchy home videos of one of you doing something terrible? What happens when the radio starts to play terrifying audio of you confessing to an atrocious crime? What happens when the person you're stuck in the house with might just be the stranger the radio warned you about? Or will you have the sense to realize that something is very wrong here and that you're both being played a fool? The knocking at the door is only getting louder. So loud it cracks the door. The storm worsens. What should you do? The madness will only worsen the longer you stay. You may even be driven to defend yourself from each other, you may come to develop false memories of crimes you didn't commit. You may just... Decide to open that damn door already. It turns out, that's what you needed to do the entire time. Because the moment you do? You open the door and see a beautiful, sunny day outside. No rain. Not a single gray cloud. Certainly no horrifying stranger either. But now you're left with whatever you did or thought from the house. For some people, the terror may slip away as easily as the rain, but for some of you, you might be stuck with paranoia and suspicion. Welcome to Sweet Acres. |
[ The Bot Problem ] |
Summary: 🌼 Content Warnings: Forced sexuality, optional sex, aphrodisiac style computer virus, dubious consent, hunted by machines, use of bombs, guns, and shrapnel. Possible character death or maiming You will notice that there are still some errors in the system as you go out and about exploring your new town. There will be an occasional glitch that opens up a screaming void of bottomless darkness before it blinks out of existence. Those are unsettling enough, but at least they don't seem harmless. The bots, on the other hand, are a different story. They glitch into the town, cracking through this carefully structured reality like breaking through a window. It seems like Daisy has a lot of work to do on the external firewalls of Sweet Acres! In the meantime, you're going to have to deal with her incompetence. A lot of the bots can easily be mistaken for other residents in town. These are model-gorgeous women and men who almost seemed like caricatures of stereotypical beauty conventions. Big lips, huge hips, large muscles, chiseled jaws, perfect hair, pearly white teeth. These beauties flounce about and no matter who or what you are, if they look your way, they are immediately approaching you. "Hey, sexy. I'm single, horny, and lonely. I just turned 18 and I've got my daddy's credit card." "I've never seen a person more beautiful than you. I'm the CEO of at least three different six-figure income businesses. How about I take you on a night out in my Ferrari?" There isn't a single thought behind those eyes or in those smiles. If you have the thought to rely on your Daze, you can just block the Sex Bots and they will blink out of existence. Alternatively, you could probably just smash them out of existence with a good punch or the swing of a weapon...They will just vanish into a cloud of corrupt coding. But if you're a bit more gullible and still catching up on the strangeness of this place or can't figure out Daze, you might make the mistake of responding to one of these bots. The Bot will immediately scan you for all of your information and warp its features into something that you actually would find to be the ideal beauty. "This is better, right?" It's hard to deny...They even sound like the ideal beauty in your mind. A gentle hand on your arm and then they are leading you away. Except they aren't leading you anywhere. You watch helplessly as coding goes up your arm and begins to consume your body. You can't feel anything but a prickling sensation. The Bot vanishes, but you are left rewired. Now it is you with the dramatic features emphasizing your most attractive parts. Regardless of your personality, you suddenly feel the urge to walk up to just about anyone anywhere and flirt with them. Whether stupidly or sincerely. It's hard to remember yourself with the bot's virus wreaking havoc on your Daze. Worst case scenario? You wind up sleeping with someone because of this bizarre virus, but you will also ironically get it out of your system this way and feel completely normal after. Alternatively, you can find someone who is a bit more tech-savvy with the Daze and who might have an idea of how to hack into your system and get rid of the virus for you. This might involve some personal line of questioning, but hey, at least you're not walking around asking for sex from total strangers anymore! The Sex Bots are a dream compared to the other virus attacking the system of Sweet Acres. One will begin to see small metal robots trotting about, no bigger than a backpack, with lethal determination. These metal dogs scour their surroundings for anything organic or anything that doesn't belong in the space. This means they are actively ripping up plants and destroying trees, which is tragic enough, but just be glad they haven't seen you yet because it turns out that Daisy's Sweet Subjects are the metal dog's top priority. The moment they notice you, they will begin a neverending chase. These robots can catch up to a speeding car and resist an enormous amount of damage. They are waterproof and run on their own network completely disconnected from the Daze, so good luck trying to hack into them- it won't work. They can see just as well in the dark as the light and have sensors that allow them to pick up on body temperature as well as any vibrations you might make. They are not gentle creatures: their goal is to terminate all organic beings and Sweet Subjects in the area. If they catch you, they will immediately attempt to blow your head off with a small gun they can form. Alternatively, they will expel a shrapnel bomb if you catch them off guard. They also have paralyzing fog bombs. Metal dogs can be destroyed, however. With large explosions, armor-piercing weaponry, people with extreme super strength. Or you can get creative! Maybe you know a spell that can turn them into a stuffed animal or melt the metal. Maybe you have control over metal beings. There are ways to destroy these things. But don't worry. If worse comes to worse, Daisy is going around to destroy them for you. But do you really want to owe her your life? |
Angel Dust | Hazbin Hotel
i. please wait while your surroundings are loading cw: gun violence, mention of drug use, NSFW sex mentions likely
ii. sex bots, obviously cw: wildly NSFW, he can and will flirt with anything that walks, but m/m only for actual smut
iii. the metal dogs cw: shooting stuff, mostly.
ii cw: maybe probably smut
That's rough, man. (Sincerely. He's smoking a cigarette and blows out a steady stream of smoke. He quirks a brow at the come-on. Despite Dirk being a Certified Fucking Babe, he's never really been hit on before in any sincerity. Caliborn doesn't count, that fucking psycho.)
Nah. I don't want someone else's table scraps. Where's the flattery in all that?
elmo fire gif
[Draping himself over a nearby hedge, Angel props his chin in one set of hands, making a grabby, demanding gesture with one of the others.] Got a light? Bet the cigs are as fuckin' watered down as the liquor, but a bitch is desperate, babycakes.
An' listen, if it's flattery you want: if you got somethin' better i can put in my mouth, I'm allllll ears, dollface.
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Yeah, I'll bet you are, with that many arms.
(Okay, so what if he flirts a bit back? Wasn't going to hurt him any. Probably. Then he actually does snort, not quite a laugh, but close enough. He tugs out his pack of cigarettes and slides it out to offer the guy.)
Sure thing, darlin'. (Texan drawl and everything, and hey, if this guy is using pet names, Dirk figures anything is free game. He offers his own lighter, flicking it and holding it toward the spider.)
How about your name for starters?
cw: uhhhh body horror retractable arms lmao
Speaking of -- one arm reaches out for the cigarettes, another pulling a couple free and tucking one into his chest fluff for later. And then, seamlessly, two more appear from either side of Angel's torso, sliding free to make him properly eight-limbed: six arms, two legs. One of the new hands grabs the other cigarette, holding it out and lighting it carefully, then placing it in his mouth, all while the topmost pair stay propping his chin up.
Grinning and inhaling, Angel lets the third pair slowly retract back into his body. It's a little unnerving, but if this tall hunk of golden southern drawl is already calling him pet names, he's probably not gonna freak out about Angel's disappearing limbs. For good measure, he adds:] That ain't all that retracts, just so's you know.
[Inhaling deeply, exhaling the smoke into a skilled ring:] Angel Dust. I'm guessin' you haven't heard'a me, huh? [A woeful sigh.] Not havin' my talent recognized is such a fuckin' drag.
cw: all the casual body horror here + prob eventually refs to suicide
Or he had been anyway.
His face remains blank throughout the entire display of Angel's bizarre body, but behind his lens, Dirk's fascinated and some part of his mind is already wandering all over what could be done with those.)
Nope. But that's probably good we don't share the same timeline. You don't want to have heard of me. (Not even said with any hint of arrogance, just matter-of-fact. He blows his own pointed trail of smoke - right into the middle of Angel's smoke circle.)
I'm Dirk. And it's never too late to show off a bit. (He glances down pointedly.)
I hope it doesn't retract too much. I got a thing for phallic-shaped anything.
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[Another puff of smoke, this one forming a loose, almost abstract heart that swirls and loops around Dirk's pointed exhalation, like ivy on a tree.] I don't mind a little bit'a bad, sugar. Vanilla's for cakes, yaknow.
[Then Angel laughs, straightening up to his full seven-foot-something height and sauntering over.] What a coincidence, phallic's my favorite shape. And color and flavor and sight and all that jazz. [One of those spidery arms drapes over Dirk's shoulders, gloved hands plucking and smoothing at his clothes.] Am I flatterin' you enough yet, or should I keep goin'?
no subject
Being a bad boy is more about the aesthetic and casual disregard for the law. I'm more of a...(He rolls his shoulders in a languid shrug.)
Obsessive megalomaniac with an omnipresent ability to destroy souls.
(Dirk, don't be so dark when a hot spider dude is trying to flirt with you. He winds up tipping his head back, and okay, that's extra hot. At 6'3 or so, Dirk was used to being the one to hover over most of the people he knew. He could appreciate a lean, tall drink of water. Or poison. Whatever.
He doesn't push Angel away, but there is a slight tension in his shoulders. He's not used to casual touch whatsoever, or touch in general. He never really knows what to do with it.)
Man, I hate to break the news to you, but I feel like you'd be wasting potential on me. You seem like the kinda guy who should get railed by someone emotionally available, or something. (DOES HE, DIRK...)
no subject
[That next comment prompts a very brief flash of surprise in Angel's mismatched eyes. When was the last time anyone said something like that -- that he deserved something. Charlie, probably, but that's Charlie, she's a unique case. To hear it from a guy is something else entirely.
Laughing again, Angel drops the sexy act a bit, flashing a much more genuine smile.] Aw, babycakes, you really don't know who I am, huh? [He steps back, spreads all four arms in a sort of "ta-daaa" gesture.] You're lookin' at the most popular porn star in the seven circles, sugar. I've been railed by every kinda guy there is, usually at the same time. Pretty sure emotional availability would give me hives or somethin'. Blech.
cw: suicide / suicide scars
More like a god though. (And his body was proof enough of that. There were more scars than he could bother keeping track of anymore. He didn't have the retractable appendages Angel had, but he had a gruesome scar around his neck that no regular human could likely survive. More scars were slashed over his thick biceps down to his fingers. The rest of his body told a similar story.
Maybe it's a nice thing to say. Or maybe Dirk just hates himself enough to figure everyone else just inherently deserved better than whatever bullshit he'd drag them through if he became attached.
Still, he notices the surprise and is almost surprised himself. He didn't catch people off guard like this.
The shift to sincerity is immediately obvious and it's only then that the tension in Dirk's body begins to unwind.)
No, I don't. (An equally sincere response. Then the introduction is given and Dirk stares for a long second.)
Well, I'll be.
(Thickening the southern accent for the sheer irony. Still. His mind is burning up. It certainly made sense with Angel's flippant approach to him, and it made sense why Angel probably didn't care about anything Dirk had done or thought about doing. And he's probably fucked a million virgins to the point where Dirk's complete lack of experience wasn't even an issue.
Still.)
I'm something of a pornographic connoisseur myself. I used to make some dope puppet porn back in my heyday. (And obsessively collected porn through a cohesive filing system on his drive that was organized by category and kink. He was something of an addict and if he were a few years younger, he might have been absolutely hounding this guy in approximately three seconds or less.)
But I ain't really ever done shit. Never had the opportunity. Limited options where I come from. The list of available dudes to fuck was practically nonexistent. The most action I've ever had was when my ex made out with my decapitated head.
(So....................He shoves his hands into his pockets.)
When you say seven circles, I take it you mean hell?
no subject
Dirk relaxes, and Angel's back in his space like a moth to a flame. One hand reaches out to touch a scar, across a thick bicep, a boldly gentle touch.] God sounds about right. You seen yourself lately, dollface? Could make a religion outta that face.
[Then he laughs, leaning his full weight against Dirk, fluffy and clingy and damn near cuddly. Maybe it's stress -- this place is fuckin' weird, nothing like home -- but being close to someone who can kick ass is kinda reassuring.] Puppet porn, really? I got gangbanged by a group of Muppet demons once -- had to scrap the scene, though, couldn't figure out the copyright issues. Hell's always got some kinda copyright bullshit happening.
[Angel rolls his eyes, smoothing his hair with one hand and Dirk's with another. He sighs, fondly, twining a strand of golden hair around a finger.] Damn shame too, cause demon Gonzo fucks.
...as hot as I find a lil disembodied head action, that's a cryin' damn shame. [He's actually a little offended by it -- Dirk is so hot, he deserves to have as much weird puppet fuckimh as he wants.] There's all kinds of sexbots here, not to mention all the normies clutching their pearls about the bots. Unless you're a little more ambitious than that...?
[Oh, right. Angel waves a vague, dismissive hand.] Yeah, afterlife, Hell and Heaven, but Heaven's fuckin' boring. At least Hell's got good booze and hot sluts like me.
no subject
I was specially crafted in a lab. Low chances for genetic fuck-ups. (He knew theoretically he was borderline perfect looking sans the scars and probably his eyes but still, hearing it come from another guy was a lot nicer than treating it like a fact.
That and Angel's body is soft. This time, he slides a hand around Angel's slim waist, tugging the body a bit closer and with certainty. It's absurd sounding, getting gangbanged by muppets, but at the same time it was no more absurd than the bullshit in his own universe.)
He looks like he would. (It's in the nose, sometimes.)
I ain't fuckin' a sexbot. At that point, I'd just build a better, hotter fucktoy.
(Which he has. God, he missed his extensive sex toy collection.)
I ain't got much opinion on either. That shit didn't exist back in my world.
(He pulls Angel even closer, pulling him around to be in front of Dirk. His other hand rests a little higher on Angel's other hip.)
Wouldn't mind trying it all with you though.
no subject
The benefit of all those limbs is immediately evident -- Dirk reaching out is more than enough permission for Angel to get one pair of hands up under the human's (the hot, genetically-engineered human's) shirt. His touch is careful, practiced, long nails digging in a little to see what gets a reaction from Dirk, where to tease or toy with next. The other pair is in that silky hair, tracing the side of that pretty face.] What a coincidence. I was voted better, hotter fucktoy of the year, fifty years runnin'.
[Angel hasn't even begun to mourn his lost sex toy collection, it's too painful to even think of. He presses closer, one hand slipping down the front of Dirk's pants, bold and wasting zero time.] Define "it all", sugar. We talkin' some good old-fashioned fuckin' or you wanna get handcuffs and ridin' crops involved?
ii
His eyebrows immediately raise once he takes in the sight of this... creature. What the fuck? Xue Yang chuckles a little, intrigued and bewildered all at once. ]
I don't pay for that anyway. [ He tilts his head in question. ] What the hell are you?
no subject
Your loss, hot stuff. I'd blow your damn mind. Guaran-fuckin'-teed. [Then he flashes a mouth of bright, uncomfortably sharp teeth.] I'm an Aries, sweetheart.
Also a spider demon, if that's what you meant.
ii
[That was the sound of one monster sizing up another monster for sex. Lurine looked more or less human at the moment but she was far from it. She flipped her blonde hair back and gave Angel an assessing look. Her eyes kept lingering on the many arms.]
Well, I must say it's been a while since I had the chance to sleep with anyone quite like you, good sir, but I'm game for anything if you are.
[One did not live to be 5,000 years old without becoming pretty flexible when it came to being sexually adventurous.]
no subject
[He's making assumptions, but even though everyone is more or less humanoid in Hell, actual human-shaped people are pretty rare. Why would you wanna look human when you could look like a hot sexy spider guy?
Shaking his head, Angel reaches up a hand to smooth back his hair.] Sorry, toots, I charge extra for chicks. Unless you can do a reaaaaaal good Chris Hemsworth impression.
no subject
[Assuming she was human that is. Lurine was thankful these days she could actually pass for one. A number of creatures were stuck in hiding in Pemkowet because they couldn't be out in the open due to their unique appearances. Aside from having to do some late-night discreet swimming, there wasn't much preventing from Lurine living her life the way she wanted to.
The mention of Chris Hemsworth made her burst out laughing.]
Alas, my acting skills are good but not that good.